If you've tried cutting any toxic thing out of your life, you've probably set yourself off with the ever famous line, "I'll do it in moderation."
You tell yourself you'll only do it occasionally, or on special occasions, or of course...on your birthday.
But if you're reading this, chances are that plan didn't work out so well. Now, I told you guys- this isn't precisely a sobriety site (although sobriety looks different for everybody).
With that said, like you, when I decided to cut back on booze, I kept letting myself down. I would tell myself I would only drink one drink at the next gathering, and before you knew it, I was having so much fun - I would fall into the "YOLO" trap and proceed to get drunk.
So I asked my sober friends for help. But by me doing that, I realized something awful - they were afraid of alcohol. Their advice was full of harsh criticism for alcohol drinkers and full of awful stories of their past. They hadn't healed.
I didn't want to be like that. I didn't want to have alcohol control me in any way, shape, or form. I didn't want to lose control of my body. I didn't want to lose my time on earth being hungover. And I didn't want to lose the genuine love I have for people by thinking being sober makes me more "awake."
I just wanted to heal my relationship with alcohol. What I discovered through that healing journey was that alcohol (like most things) is not the problem. The problem is your unhealed trauma.
When I dealt with my childhood abuse trauma by doing a combination of therapy, shadow work, and spiritual work, I surrendered to peace. I no longer needed anything to numb my pain.
It didn't matter who was drinking (or if I was drinking or not)- Alcohol just wasn't important. It wasn't a problem. It wasn't a risk. It just didn't matter.
If you are super annoyed with the way you turn to booze to have fun or numb pain, my advice is this: start journaling. Decide what parts of you get trigged often and what you think about the most on a daily basis.
Make a list and come up with a plan that can help you heal each part of it. Then do the work. It's not easy to deal with your fears and problems, but it's a lot cheaper and healthier than wasting your life focused on and dependent on a fake safety net.
If you want to dive a little deeper into the healing journey, check out my free guide to conscious drinking here.
Until next time
XOXO Edna